Bad Bat Mitzvah Themes

Primera wants something along the lines of Hollywood. Which, fine, everyone these days has themes and I know she's going to want a bat mitzvah EXACTLY like her friends', except she also wants 50 Cent or Aerosmith to perform, she's not sure which. So then I was thinking at dinner about themes. I'd always joked I'd wanted to do a nursery in a Hieronymus Bosch or William Blake theme, suitable for future years of therapy.

Then I was talking to this incredibly New Age-y woman who was really into "spiritual sexuality": she gave the health talk @ Primera's school, and she was very sweet and sincere, if a bit over the top. And I was saying I thought it would be wicked cool to have a Planned Parenthood theme, with the Margaret Sanger and John Rock tables. But yeah, I'm not doing that.

Then I was thinking that if we wanted to do a Hollywood theme, we could relate it to Judaism by having, I don't know, tables that were salutes to famous crypto-Jews: the John Garfield table, the Edward G. Robinson table, Leslie Howard, Paulette Goddard, Kirk Douglas. Primera thought that was a tad obscure. I was trying to think of movies w/J-themes, but most of them were pretty dismal or pretty bad (The Jazz Singer, Yentl, Fiddler? The Sorrow and the Pity?).