Differences and Disabilities

I tend to love Kristina Chew's blog (AutismVox, on my list o' links to the right), and I admire and respect the love and acceptance that she models for her son, and for all children. But here's what I run up against: if we say, "Accept," if we say "Stop and smell the roses," if we don't say "Time is brain," then what happens at CSE? What happens if we don't fight for every last speech therapy session we can get? What happens if we don't maximize services? My child would be no less a person if she did not develop a certain subset of skills, surely not, but--and again, this is what I keep butting my head against--don't I want my daughter to have those options? Don't I want her to have as many arrows to her quiver as possible as we prepare her for adulthood, for life beyond us? A life filled with contact with the oblivious, the stupid, the judgmental? Ultimately, it's our choice as her parents, of course, as I straddle the fence yet again: accept, but intervene. Don't fix my kid, but fill in this gap. When is it filling in and when is it fixing?