Also: our idiot neighbors' idiot dog bit my beautiful perfect son. I have been contemplating homicide (canicide?) for the past two days. I feel a haiku coming on:

The big dog would die
So beautifully if hit
By a 4 x 4.

Poisoned meat o'er fence
Would stop the slavering beast
From its rampages.

I hate that dog so:
Would like to run it over;
Bad role model, mom.