This Week's Behavioral Success Story

So Prima got these earrings in for her birthday, and she HATED them, like would wear her hoodie over her ears so no one could see. Then she got dangling earrings, and she loved them, except she was allergic to the silver supposedly (I suspect improper hygiene, but I'm still short a few box tops for that medical degree). So I went and got her 18 carat gold earrings, and did you know they're more expensive than the regular kind? So they are. White gold huggy hoop earrings, with little diamonds, if you please. And she wore them all the time.

Except soccer is very very strict about not having earrings in for practice, except for studs, and she Doesn't Like studs, the way only Prima can Not Like something. So it was this whole production, and I took out her earrings one time and got them back in, and she was trembling and traumatized by the whole process. Spousal unit was all set to drop soccer to avoid a repeat performance, and I immediately got that feeling that we were caving in because of fear of tantrums. And I don't like doing that, b/c if I once cave in on something, she will leave giant tire marks across my face. I've been living with her for close to nine years, and I know all about how she operates.

So I spoke to the behavioral person who comes to the house, who doesn't make value judgments but who nonetheless makes it clear when we're being spineless, and she said we should teach her how to get the earrings out, Activities of Daily Living and all that. We tried to do a little backward chaining (first teach her how to get 'em off by having her remove them once I'd unlatched them), but she picked it up really quickly, and then lo! She got the earrings back in all by herself, with no help from me and no pain.

We made a huge deal, and she was very proud of herself. Yay Prima! Yay B.F. Skinner!

It's hard to explain, and it's much less common than it used to be, but problems like this always remind me that we're on the borderline of normal--one step over and we're in the bad place again.