Baddish week for Primera: very cranky, unreasonable, more than usual. Came into my room earlier today and kept flipflopping: she was sorry, she wasn't sorry, she wished she could do better, I was mean, etc. A big thing with her is assessing and assigning blame. The district consultant pointed out that she has to really process something cognitively before she can let it go. That coupled with the compulsiveness--chicken? Egg? And--lovely phrase from Michelle Dunn--she has an external locus of control.

I was rereading her old report last year from the McC. Center and marveling once again at how completely it captured my kid. I get so, so sick of hearing, "Well, but lots of kids are like that." Yeah, and some of them should be classified. But it was all there in the report: the being overwhelmed by negative feelings, the difficulty controlling affect. When I'm away from her, as I am right now, and I can get a few minutes' distance, I'm so proud of her and so amazed (weak word) by what she's accomplished and how far she's come. But living in the moment with her, that's different. A constant series of negotiations, necessitating my own form of behavioral rigidity.