As another year rolls round. I took the kids to services tonight; Secundo got to hold the havdalah candle and dip it in the wine @ the end. He looked very serious about this responsibility. My father died during Passover. I'm not supposed to go to the cemetery. I know; I understand; I don't like it.

My rabbi explained that we shouldn't dwell overmuch during a joyous time; I said I understood, but that American culture isn't big on dwelling in general; we're in danger of the opposite, of forgoing mourning. I welcome the mourning in a way; I wish I had another way to feel close to my parents. It feels entirely in keeping with my disposition that feeling sorrow is how I stay connected to the two most important people in my life.

Magnified and sanctified be Your name, O God, throughout the world, which You have created according to Your will. May Your sovereignty be accepted in our own days, in our lives, and in the life of all the House of Israel, speedily and soon, and let us say, Amen.

May Your great name be blessed for ever and ever.

Exalted and honored, adored and acclaimed be Your name, O Holy One, blessed are You, whose glory transcends all praises, songs, and blessings voiced in the world, and let us say, Amen.

Grant abundant peace and life to us and to all Israel, and let us say, Amen.

May You who establish peace in the heavens, grant peace to us, to Israel, and to all the earth, and let us say, Amen.