I Heart LI
More excess stories: a friend of mine told me about a shopping party at a mall. All the little third-grade girls at the party were given mall gift certificates and they were broken up into groups, accompanied by adult shoppers. And that was the party: shopping.

It sounds like the kind of bad joke that shows up in sitcoms or post-"Cheers" movies starring Shelley Long, except it's Real Life, or what passes for it here.